im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
They have beer where we have blood.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
