Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
