thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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