Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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