It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
