I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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