I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
