you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
