Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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