When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
