The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
