question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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