so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
