It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
