Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Sponge bath it is.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
