Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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