I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
