there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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