Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
