so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
