i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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