Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
