I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
