Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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