Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
