i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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