Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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