I puked a lego.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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