Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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