She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
