My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
