How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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