the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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