Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
barbara walters just said penis...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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