I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
