u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
