All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Only a mothe r could love this liver
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
