Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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