Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
