Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
