Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm going to jail i love you
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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