allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
