Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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