I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Of course I have a pirate flag
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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