You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
