We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
