the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
