I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
