sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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