if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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