based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
