no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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