what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
