is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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